Bruce Cameron

Editor’s Note: The following column was originally published in 2010.

Petition for Habeas Corpus filed on behalf of the teenage daughter, the “aggrieved party,” to compel the father, the “meanest man in the whole world,” to reverse his mandate of Cruel and Unusual Punishment, to wit: that the aggrieved party has to stay home and clean the garage when I promised I’d go with Whitney to the mall!

The basis for this petition, which is like an emergency because Whitney is coming to pick me up in half an hour and I need to get ready, is first of all it’s against the Constitution. You can’t just anno...