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Articles written by bob franken


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  • Reform School

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Mar 14, 2019

    Reform is inevitably a difficult process, and not just for the reformees. It's particularly painful for the reformers, no matter how meritorious their cause. Who would admit opposing fundamental changes to a health care system in this country that is glaringly overpriced and significantly underperforms? Who would resist efforts to rescue the planet from boiling away? As the reformers are learning, once they stop preaching to their own choirs and face off against those who benefit and prosper from the current setups -- like the insurance compani...

  • Equal-Opportunity Skepticism

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Mar 7, 2019

    Let's be fair to Donald Trump. No, seriously. That's not a joke. When it comes time to judge the presidential candidates, we should remember what they say about geese and ganders, and apply the same standards to all members of this growing gaggle. Both males and females of this species should get equal treatment, in other words. That's where the fairness to the biggest goose of all comes in. A presidential campaign by anyone should be a brutal trial by fire. We hear nonstop from those who want Trump out of the White House that anything goes,...

  • BS Words

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Feb 28, 2019

    It's already begun. With the first serious discussion of "Medicare-for-all," meaning government-financed health care, and with the introduction of the so-called Green New Deal, those on the right, and even those who get away with describing themselves as moderates, are flinging around the S-word like it's the ultimate pejorative. Oh F-word it, let's be clear: They're braying about -- gasp -- "SOCIALISM." To borrow from the "The Music Man," it starts with an "S" and that rhymes with "mess." So, what is this scourge? My online dictionary defines...

  • Smarmy vs. Smart

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Feb 21, 2019

    When it comes to stories, most of us prefer tacky over technical. Tacky trumps substance. Or these days, attack-y Trump deflects substance. That certainly could explain the decidedly non-substantive high interest in Jeff Bezos, one of President Tweet's favorite targets. (True, there are thousands of favorite targets on Trump's list.) Normally, Bezos does not generate sordid fascination. The founder of Amazon, he is the richest man in the world, and he does own The Washington Post, as any reader can tell you after being treated to that disclaime...

  • I Am Not Running for President

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Feb 14, 2019

    I know that the suspense has been unbearable, but I'm finally ready to make my announcement: I am not running for president. I realize that by doing so, I have aligned myself with 328,113,170 or so other Americans who also have decided not to run for president. We have much in common, including our shared contempt for nearly all of those, on all sides, who practice the dark arts of politics, most of whom are running for president. In case you were wondering why I found it necessary to announce that I'm forgoing an election campaign, it's...

  • Collateral Damage

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Feb 7, 2019

    There's an expression we hear or see all too frequently, one that is particularly odious: "collateral damage." Some military types, or civilian leaders who are pursuing their own ambitions, use that phrase to sterilize the death and maiming of innocents as battle operations rage nearby. In a less violent way, that same kind of offensive mentality permeates the rationalizations of too many political leaders. That is, if they even bother to think about the human consequences of their rhetoric or schemes to manipulate voters or to generate...

  • A Different Brexit

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Jan 31, 2019

    Maybe British Prime Minister Theresa May needs to change her country's Brexit focus. Instead of severing ties with the European Union, maybe she should address the relationship between the United Kingdom and the United States, and disunite them. It would be a Brexit from that so-called "special relationship" with the U.S. Never mind that a majority of the Brits voting chose to leave the E.U. As predicted, it has proven uncommonly difficult, to the point that there is some talk of holding another referendum. The pro-Europe forces might have an e...

  • 'Buddy, Can You Spare a Dime?'

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Jan 24, 2019

    In 1932, as the Great Depression took hold and once-proud Americans were reduced to begging, Bing Crosby recorded a song called "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?" It became a hit, even though Republicans tried to force radio stations not to play it because it was "anti-capitalist." And indeed it was. "They used to tell me I was building a dream With peace and glory ahead Why should I be standing in line Just waiting for bread? ... Buddy, can you spare a dime?" Today, the Republicans are at it again, or at least one Republican is. As the country...

  • Truce With No Truth

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Jan 17, 2019

    Wouldn't it be astounding if we read the morning news one day and the headline was "Everything President Trump Said Yesterday Was Entirely True"? Put that one in the "not likely" category. Donald Trump has made lying an art form (a crude art form, certainly), to the point where we can't be sure that his name actually is Donald Trump. He's that untrustworthy. According to The Washington Post's "Fact Checker," Trump (or whoever he is) averaged 15 falsehoods a DAY in 2018! There should be a competition among politicians, obviously sponsored by...

  • Trump Between Iraq and a Hard Place

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Jan 10, 2019

    Let's hand it to President Donald Trump. There he was, the commander in chief, closing out the old year by bravely showing up in a war zone in spite of the bone spurs in his feet. Yes, the haters are dubious about those spurs, but whether real or the figment of a paid-off podiatrist's imagination, they did keep him far from combat until he and his retinue stealthily traveled to Iraq over the holidays. Since Mar-a-Lago had been declared off limits because of the bad government shutdown optics, he, Melania and his court jesters had to go...

  • The Exchange Rate

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Jan 3, 2019

    The holiday week leading up to New Year's has special meaning. The day after holy Christmas, we celebrated the wholly mercenary observance of Exchange Day. It's not an official holiday in the United States, but it should be, like Boxing Day is in British Commonwealth countries. You remember the British Commonwealth, don't you? That was the worldwide collection of countries under the influence of England, before the demise of the U.K. -- a downward slide that is nearly identical to what the U.S. is undergoing now. That was long before Brexit, wh...

  • Lame-Duck Mucking

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Dec 27, 2018

    OK, I get it. After an election, when the incumbent is about to be transformed into the former, we need a transition period. All in all, it's a good idea. It allows for a smooth changeover. Yada, yada, yada. But like all bright ideas, this one is invariably tarnished, because humans are involved. (How's that for Yuletide cheer?) As we all know, the time between outgoing and incoming is called the "lame duck" period. In Wisconsin and Michigan, the Democrats who were victorious in winning the governor's races and other statewide races are crying...

  • Law of the Swamp

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Dec 20, 2018

    What's interesting about Washington is how the first rule for its leaders has always been to make sure they don't have to follow many rules. Members of Congress have their "speech or debate" clause of the Constitution, meaning that no matter how they slander someone during their official proceedings, they won't be held legally accountable. Presidents can't be criminally prosecuted while in office without first being impeached and removed. What would normally be called "bribes" are "campaign contributions." Normal standards don't apply here....

  • The Fake Potpourri

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Dec 13, 2018

    The word "potpourri" has a few definitions, but for a columnist it means writing about a bunch of unrelated stuff because he's too lazy to come up with an overarching theme. Instead, he'll take a superficial look at several developments. I have long experience doing that because of my career in TV news, where the marching orders were to "Get out there and scratch the surface!" What better frivolous way to begin this potpourri than with that fist bump, or whatever it was, at the G-20 summit in Buenos Aires between Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed...

  • Discrimination for the Ages

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Dec 6, 2018

    Forgive my self-indulgence, but at the very start I need to point out that while I may not be young, I am immature. The immature part is familiar to anyone who knows me. But what's important here is that I'm old. So I freely admit that what I'm writing here comes with a bias: The Democrats are guilty of gross age discrimination and, might I add, hypocrisy. It is, after all, the same party that sanctimoniously pretends to oppose all "isms," but obviously that doesn't include ageism. I'm specifically talking about the ones who would fancy themsel...

  • The Dog-Eat-Dog World

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Nov 29, 2018

    I'm always amazed that the Washington types I consider to be such jerks are completely different when I run into them at a dog park. They're actually pleasant to be around. Our canine kids certainly are a good influence. I find it interesting that President Donald Trump and his family don't have any puppies, not even the ones that most politicians trot out for warm and fuzzy photo ops or campaign ads. But not Trump, maybe because he doesn't do warm and fuzzy. Or perhaps it's because he's a major-league germaphobe and is worried about rabies....

  • Ditch the 'Hard Passes'

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Nov 22, 2018

    I've said this before, but my colleagues in media have either disagreed or simply ignored me. After Jim Acosta's confrontation with the president at a White House press conference and the subsequent retaliation, it's time for me to renew my call for all reporters who hold so-called hard passes to turn them in and abandon their post at the White House en masse. Yes, it would be a gesture of defiance to a president and administration that uses reporters as props. There is nothing in the First Amendment that guarantees freedom of the props....

  • Move Backward, Fall Flat

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Nov 15, 2018

    Mornings are somewhat brighter, but it's still a day of mourning. The switch from daylight saving to standard time is an admission that we can't escape the predictable gloom of winter, with its icy weather. It might become less predictable once global warming fully wreaks its destruction -- you know, the disaster that President Donald Trump and the corporate energy interests expediently choose to deny. On the other hand, the political season is nonstop, and the climate in that world inexorably deteriorates too. While we've wrapped up the...

  • The Violent Presidency

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Nov 8, 2018

    Republicans have always justified their preferential treatment of the super-wealthy by trotting out the bogus "trickle-down theory." They argue that as the rich get richer, they will spend more on jobs, etc., and the financial benefits will "trickle down" the economic scale. It's a total con, of course. A sham. But now we are witnessing a trickle down that's for real. The man who has taken over the Republicans spews ignorance, hatred and violence every time he opens his mouth or pecks on a smartphone. His malice indeed trickles down --...

  • The Saudi D.C. Swamp

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Nov 1, 2018

    Imagine that: It's getting so it's difficult to get away with being slime in the Washington "swamp" these days -- or at the very least, much tougher to paper it over by placing a fake-believe veneer of money from the most noxious sources. For generations, we have allowed so many of our most prominent operators to perfume over the stench of their ill-gained prosperity as they have represented the interests here of some of the planet's most rotten individuals and their brutal tyrannies. Now we have the Saudis and the likelihood that they have...

  • Winning at Gutterball

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Oct 25, 2018

    It's Major League Baseball playoff season, as well as the run-up to the elections. Oh, the games people play. Way back when, in the early 20th century, New York Giants manager John "Mugsy" McGraw was the first to utter an important life lesson for those who play either form of "Hardball" (thank you, Chris Matthews). "Nice guys," he growled, "finish last." It's wisdom the Democrats are only now allowing to penetrate their cluelessness. "Really?" they whimper in amazement. "It's not enough to be righteous?" Not when it's self-righteous, which is...

  • The Nation's Road Ruts

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Oct 18, 2018

    "Country roads, take me home, To the place I belong, West Virginia, mountain mama, Take me home, country roads." If John Denver were to write that song these days, its lyrics might become "Trump country roads." After all, Donald Trump won West Virginia by a margin of more than 42 percentage points over Hillary Clinton. And West Virginia Sen. Joe Manchin's "mountain mama" didn't raise no fool. Sen. Manchin is fighting for his political life, doing whatever he can to make sure the state's voters don't take him home from Washington, D.C., and...

  • The Last Laugh

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Oct 11, 2018

    So now we know what Donald Trump will do for a living when he leaves office, whenever that is. He will be busy: In addition to continuing his television career by doing commercials for products that you can get by calling a 1-800 number, he'll also be touring as a stand-up comedian. Obviously he's got a knack for it. Look no further than the success Trump had when he brought the house down at the United Nations nightclub in New York. Actually, it was the General Assembly, and it was a really tough crowd who couldn't help but laugh at the Trump...

  • The Ballot Ballgame

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Oct 4, 2018

    It happens several times a game: I'll announce to the world, "The entire season rests on this pitch (shot/play/whatever)." My friends long ago learned simply to ignore my sarcasm, which makes it difficult when I'm being serious. Such as when I announce, "The fate of the nation might rest on the upcoming election." For real. Even though Donald Trump is not on the ballot, the midterms will determine if Congress can take a role in restraining his worst impulses. It should be obvious to those horrified by his presidency that they must install an...

  • Stinky Cheese

    Bob Franken, Syndicated Columnist|Sep 27, 2018

    The human tragedy and cataclysmic damage of devastating storms like Florence, Harvey and Maria are natural disasters that mercifully divert the news emphasis, just for a while, from the unnatural disaster that is the American political system. I don't wish to be flippant about tragic and costly storms, so I'll spare you the glib analogies, other than to describe an American society that is being overwhelmed by floods of distrust. The destruction is not just the result of one man -- that is, the demagogic, grossly incapable Donald Trump. Instead...

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