Bruce Cameron

Editor’s Note: The following column was originally published in 2009.

Congratulations on purchasing your Wonder Fun Doll Dream House with Stables, Orchard and Shooting Range! These are your assembly instructions, so if you’re a man, you’re not reading this.

Step 1: There are approximately 89,000 pieces required to assemble your Wonder Fun Doll Dream House, making it only slightly less complicated to build than a Boeing jetliner. In order to have this ready for your little girl by Christmas morning, you should start putting it together no later than Martin Luther King Day.

Step 2: Position the...