Gordon Forgey

The town of Malden has been in the news lately, and its reputation has taken some serious raps. Malden needs a public relations makeover. Many people have the wrong impression of the town.

To the rescue comes Mayor Ted Maxwell with his monthly missive in the town’s water bills.

It reads, in part:

“While I was away, my wife got a call from a guy who is almost always a pain.

.

.

.

He said loose dogs keep knocking over his garbage can and scattering trash while eating the choice tidbits.

He is tired of picking up the mess.

He wants all of you to know he intends to poison the trash in order to kill the dogs.

All of you should know by now my attitude about chicken-eating, cattle-chasing, poop-on-the-neighbor’s-lawn dogs.

I don’t know why this person wants everyone to be aware of his intentions.

That seems a bit weird.

Anyway, I do believe this guy could be serious, so again I remind pet owners the town ordinances require you to control your pets.

Poison can be a slow and terrible way for your pet to die.”

Quite frankly, Ted, this may not have been the best way to improve the image of your town.

Silence would have been better or hire a professional public relations hack. Put out a full-color brochure. Have a festival and a fun run. Start a welcome wagon. Extol the rolling Palouse hills. Explain the uniqueness of small town living. Or, just turn this guy over to the sheriff or the humane society.

There are many avenues for improving the image of the town, but don’t tacitly approve the poisoning of dogs—even if they are chicken eaters. It might give some people the wrong impression.

However, the reminder in the last paragraph of your letter that the John Wayne Trail riders will be in town soon was a positive touch. But, did you have to mention that “the group has a pet style show that is a lot of laughs?”

This could be trouble, Ted. Be careful. When they arrive, make sure every trash can has a lid. You don’t want little costumed animals turning up dead—even if they are chicken eaters.

It might give the wrong impression.

Gordon Forgey

Publisher