It's the Holidays

W. Bruce Cameron

My body believes a famine is imminent and has begun stocking up on provisions. These supplies are being stored around my waistline. I’ve tried explaining to my stomach that this is entirely unnecessary: I’ve never once, not even when I was in college and more broke than the EU, done any actual starving. In fact, in college I sometimes took in so many calories (in the form of fermented beverages) that my stomach occasionally sent them back. Why are we saving them now?

It’s because it is the holidays. You see, most people gain a little weight around this time of year, and then l...